The Movember issue

Are you a guy and your upper lip feels lonely and chilly? Well, now you can warm it up while serving a good cause. For those who don’t know, Movember is a global movement that raises awareness and funds on men’s health issues (like prostate and testicular cancer).  

We should applause the bravery of the ones embracing it, as they are willing to jeopardize their image. But before you go Movember-style,  you should consider two very important factors: your face shape and features and the image you want to portray. Moustaches come in a variety of shapes and lengths and they are one of the few “tools” men can use to change their style. So use them wisely, as they come with do’s and don’ts:

The “James Franco”

You would look cool in that! This one seems to be a very popular choice, as it is the most common outcome of not shaving your moustache for a month. And guess what? It works! Who cares if you look like the Pringles guy in his prime?

The “Tom Selleck”

 Do you want to be a “big deal”? Do you want to serve and protect 70s style? Accomplish your goal with this rich moustache, which oozes with power, confidence and mahogany. Plus, you do know a cigar would go great with that! So if your facial hair is growing fast, you should treat yourself to one of those fluffy beauties. Super Mario did it, why not you?

The “Aunt Muriel”

Otherwise known as the “girl repeller”. If all you have is a thin line on the top of your lip, like you just had a glass of milk, you’re doing it wrong. If you ever want to feel the touch of a woman, by the end of the month wipe this thing off. You don’t want to forever be known as that guy; but if you insist on keeping it, a “nobody knows I’m a lesbian” t-shirt would look good on you!

The “Under-aged”

Do you only have a hint of a moustache, that looks like alopecia is working its way through you? If your moustache looks like the equivalent of a 12 year old boy’s, you should expect to be treated as one! Solid effort, but you might consider stop trying to fight nature and shave.

The “Hitler”

Don’t expect to avoid the direct link; trust me, no one will think “Charlie Chaplin”. This is not funny, not cool and definitely doesn’t look good. If you want to be taken seriously, do the world a favour and either get that thing off of your face or grow a proper one. 

The “Hulk Hogan”

 Are you more than 6 feet tall and so bulky that no one messes with you? Wanna feel like a cowboy in the 1800’s? If you can pull it off, try it. If not, stick to a regular one; there’s a reason why Yosemite Sam is not real.

The “Daniel Day Lewis”

Did you enjoy “Bill the Butcher” and you want to sport one of these bad boys? This one has a life of its own, so on top of the grooming expenses, add some extra money for the pints it will enjoy at your expense. The time and effort  required to grow this moustache will keep you busy for many Movembers to come.

The “Artist”

Do you want to feel like Salvador Dali for a month? Was it a dream of yours to look like a musketeer? Then sport one of these and you will be golden. Remember, the slimmer the more sophisticated, but also the weirder looking. If you want to go all the way, a monocle would be the perfect accessory-not.

After you’ve decided on the desired style, you should learn how to keep it up. There are some basic and simple grooming rules you should follow. First of all, buy a moustache grooming kit (comb and scissors). Following the line of your upper lip, use the comb to align the moustache and clip the ends with the scissors. Start from the center and proceed to each side; symmetry is everything. But be careful not to overdo it, as it might end up looking seriously uneven.

For the rest of your face, you will need a standard razor. If you want to live the full moustache experience, you can go old school and buy a shaving brush as well. Always use shaving cream to avoid cuts, a lanolin-based one or even plain pomade will work best. Style it with a little wax; apply it on dry hair and then comb through. To avoid itchiness and dandruff wash it with a mild shampoo, not soap. Conditioner is considered effective by many, moisturizing it with a tad of wine once or twice a day as well. It takes time and experimenting with various  products until you find what works best for you.

So dear hipsters, hammer pants of the world or just moustache-lovers, this is your time to shine… I wish you all good luck.

Happy Movember everyone!

M.L.

 

For more information, http://www.movember.com/